Christmas Trees and Chocolate Bunnies

Tomorrow, for the first time in my life, I will not go to church on Easter Sunday. Even during and after college, when my church attendance was somewhat sporadic, I always went on Easter. Because, you know, it’s freaking Easter. You get more demerits if you skip church on Easter than any other Sunday. Or something. I don’t know; I just knew I really needed to go. Continue reading


I Don’t Feel Attacked

Defense of Marriage Act. I thought the name was stupid then, and I think it’s stupid now. Defense from what, exactly? My state is not one of the few that has chosen to actually respect the Equal Protection Clause, so maybe I’m just not seeing it. But as far as I can tell, not one opposite sex marriage has suffered any ill effects from opening marriage up to any consenting adult couple that wants to enter it. Could it be that all this talk of defending marriage is, I don’t know, bullshit? Continue reading

Still Alive

No, I didn’t just start a blog and then abandon it. I just didn’t have a free moment in the last couple weeks, but school and work are a little less all-consuming now. Enough to get in a quick post, at any rate.

Soon I will get back to telling my story and commenting on various things from around the interwebs. But for now, since I’m here anyway, I will use this opportunity to get something off my chest.

Part of the reason I started this blog is that my unbelief is still relatively new to me, and I needed a space where I could process all of these new, previously forbidden thoughts. I desperately want to “come out” to family and friends, even if it means losing some of them. I haven’t been lying to anyone, or even actively hiding my unbelief. So far, it just hasn’t really come up in conversation. Even that, though, feels dishonest to me. I don’t want to encourage mistaken assumptions about what I believe. I want to get it over with. I want to know who will accept me and who won’t; who will still love me as I am and who will no longer be willing to be a part of my life. I certainly hope I’m underestimating people’s capacity for tolerance and respect, but until I speak I just can’t know.

So why don’t I? Am I afraid? Well, yeah. Knowing what my parents and some of my old friends believe, it’s a gut-wrenching proposition. Of course I’m terrified. But I know they’ll find eventually, so why not now? Continue reading

Right Here, That’s Where

Imagine for a moment a small child with an incurable, degenerative, but relatively painless disease. He probably won’t live past his teenage years, but for now he’s at least able to go out and play with his friends. His basic needs are taken care of, although his family is not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination. They live in a rundown but functional house, and most of their meals are healthy but bland. No one outside his neighborhood knows who he is, and the odds of that changing are virtually nil. Continue reading

For the Good of the Children

For those of you who haven’t heard yet, some Iowa Republican lawmakers think that a) divorce causes teenage girls to have sex, and b) this is the worst thing ever. So bad, in fact, that parents of minor children should not be allowed to decide what is best for their own lives or relationships. If they do, then, to paraphrase Rep. Tedd Gassman: Eww my granddaughter might have sex and that’s gross!

Most of the stupid has been pointed out already: the old man’s creepy fixation on his teenage granddaughter’s (entirely speculative) sex life, the fact that it is apparently only bad for teenage girls to have sex (despite the fact that these are Republicans, and are probably not amenable to the boys having sex which other), and the idea that it is somehow better for children to live with miserable parents who don’t get along than happy parents who recognized the need to split up. I don’t have much more to add on any of those points, but there is one more thing that needs to be said. Continue reading

By Kat Tagged

Feminism, Christianity, and Cognitive Dissonance: Part II

In Part I, I talked about how I was unable to reconcile feminism with the strict interpretation of the Bible I grew up with. But I’ve heard more than a few Christians criticize arguments like this by pointing out that fundamentalism hardly represents the whole of Christianity, and that’s an absolutely valid point. After all, doesn’t the Bible say to love your neighbor? Doesn’t it say, “[t]here is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus“? What’s wrong with that?

Not a thing. And before I became convinced for other reasons* that the Christian god (or any god, for that matter) is a figment of popular imagination, I latched onto passages like that for assurance that I was not somehow worth less than the men around me simply by virtue of my biology. I had more options than just being a housekeeper/baby factory/sex slave. I wasn’t expected to blindly obey people who were no more qualified to lead than I, simply because they won God’s gender lottery. Right? Continue reading

What Did I Do to Deserve This?

One day, when I was a teenager, my mom was talking about a woman from our church who had cancer. Mom was saying that this woman’s faith was admirable, that she never questioned God or allowed her suffering to dampen her spirits. This subject of conversation led to her saying something particularly memorable:

“I figure if I’m not suffering at all, it means I’m doing something wrong. It must mean Satan is already sure he has me, so he doesn’t feel like he has to try anymore.” Continue reading

What’s Up With the Name

Shortly after my fiancé and I got engaged, we decided to take a look at a book that was supposed to help engaged couples discuss all of those big things that need to be addressed before marriage: money, careers, kids, that sort of thing. Each chapter came with an assignment that was supposed to get us thinking and help us communicate our ides.

The chapter on religion asked us each to draw a picture representing our spiritual journey. My lack of artistic skill has in no way diminished my love of crayons, so I grabbed the big box and we both went to work. Behold the fruits of my labor!

Continue reading

By Kat